Dear Kanzaki,
It was the day after my mid term test...
It was damn hot after i went out from the exam hall.
But was damn cold when the exam was undergoing.
I am actually quite satisfied with my effort towards it.
But still feel like I am lacking of some enthusiasm towards it.
What's wrong? Study is not really my cup of tea.
Bleh =p
Some questions still keep bothering me in my mind.
Ohh please some one please help me to kick their butt off please...
But i know it is good they are still some leftovers in my mind.
As it proves that I concern about it.
If I really don't even wanna try to think back,
it means i have really done badly,
and wanna to forget everything...
By the way I hate myself if I din't put in enough effort for my test.
I hate losing.
Especially to guys!!
I just don't understand...
Even I have already striven my best to beat them,
but the results always make me disappointed.
Again,I hate losing.
Convince myself to work harder and harder next time.
I know there are lots of chances to fight with those guys.
I just cannot forgive myself to lose.
If too get used to losing,
I am a loser.
I don't want to be called by that.
I wanna be perfect.
But since we were born,
there is no one is perfect.
What is so called "perfect"?
I really don't understand.
Awww how lame I am..
Why have to keep figure out what the hella stupid word "perfect" is?
My senior said I am very emotional.
Yup I admit it.
Can be unhappy whole day with losing of matches or games.
But then after eating sushi I will back to normal like nothing happen.
Well not really nothing happen after eating.
I just don't like myself still keep depressed while enjoying food.
Eating should be something fun right?
Hey is after exam!! I should do something fun!!
But wait tomorrow again got viva test for programming.
I don't even finish doing that!!
Can i go enjoy myself 1st?...T.T
Ishh back to not in mood again...
It is still damn hot outside...
I am dreaming there is a bowl of refreshing ice cream in front of me...
Maybe i should take a deep afternoon nap after exam...
I know maybe i can only enjoy my bowl of ice cream in my dream ^^
So good night??
-Peace-
Best regards,
katy
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